Before You Say I DO
Before you say, "I Do" to that amazing man, make sure you understand your going to be a stepmom. For most second-time marriages, there isn't a honeymoon stage because you instantly have to face the challenges of the previous marriage.
Marriage itself is not for the faint of heart but to add children from a previous marriage and granted the title of stepmom raises the bar.
"Understand that your role is transitional. ... Some days you're going to be the leading lady. Some days you're just going to be a stagehand. And some days you're not going to be in the scene at all. The quicker you realize that, the better off you'll be." — Naja Hall, founder of the community Blended & Black
To The New Mom
If this is your first time in any parenting role, then prepare yourself because it is not dinner for one anymore. You will need to make sure dinner is ready for the whole family, and you will need to clean the house even if you did not make the mess and the laundry. These are day to day tasks that just never seem to end. I hope you are blessed with a man like mine that does help out around the house.
"All of a sudden you're thrown into doing motherly duties. And I call that the stepmom vortex. You just get pulled in. You're making lunches. You're making dinners. You're going to practices. ... Nobody tells you." — Kendall Rose
The Green-Eyed Monster
The feelings you have of anger, resentment, and jealousy are typical for most stepmoms. The problems are we don't admit it or even fully understand why we feel this way. Being a stepmom has a way of bringing out insecurities, and understanding your position in the family would bring about clarity and a happier environment.
Communication
Whether you haven't walked down the aisle yet or been married for five years, I recommend you and your spouse get into counseling. Find a life coach that is certified in this area. I also recommend investing in books that cover these topics. I will share a few links.
Remember why you got married in the first place, you fell in love with your significate other. You and your husband have to make an effort to spend time alone and connect.
Books
But I'm NOT a Wicked Stepmother!: Secrets of Successful Blended Families
Stepparenting With Grace by: Encourgement For The Blended Families
The Smart StepMom
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