The Stepmom

Eight years ago, I met an amazing man. He had two small kids and, I fell head over heels in love with them all. I was so happy to be entering into this family because it was apart of my dream to be a wife and a mom. Here I was 35 and my dream to be a wife and mom felt like something that wasn't going to happen. But God answered my prayers and blessed me with this man and his two children.

My husband and I said our vows and started our lives together and, I instantly became part of a family of 4. The kids started calling me mom, and this melted my heart because I loved them and wanted to be a mom, All of this sounds great, right? There is one problem: I'm the STEPMOM...

They have a mom, a real mom, that gave birth to them. I asked myself," where do I fit into this equation?" There is no manual for this, at least not that I found. God intended a man and a woman to leave their parents, get married, have a family, and stay married. Unfortunately, things in life happen, couples grow apart, and we have divided homes. My amazing husband and I have shared custody of the kids. At first, we all had to figure out what our new reality would mean. For me, I had to learn what my role as a step-parent would involve.

Over time, I built up resentment because I was not finding my place. I wanted to be the mom, not the Stepmom. Even the name sounds horrible, StepMom, and as the Stepmom, you have to check in with the real mom before saying, "yes you can go sleepover at your friend's house." My husband and his ex-wife made the decisions concerning the kids that I couldn't be engaged in as the Stepmom. I began putting walls up between me, my, husband, and the kids. I remember asking God to please give me a kid I did not have to share with another woman!

"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" Colossians 3:13

A few years later, my day came, I found out I was pregnant! Then we found out we were having a boy, and that filled me with such excitement! I was finally going to have a kid I didn't have to share with another woman. Finally, I was going to be THE MOM!

I was concerned about how Sasha and Colin would feel about the new addition. As much as I wanted a child of my own, I didn't want them to feel like I loved them any less. I was there when Sasha started kindergarten, I taught her how to swim and bake her first cake. Colin was my shopping buddy when his big sister was in school. I didn't want them to have any resentment towards their new brother. Thankfully, I was able to put all those thoughts and feelings rest. When we brought Grant home, they fell in love with him and became such a wonderful big sister and brother.

It has been almost seven years since my husband and I got married, and during this time, I've had to forgive, let go and accept my role as a wife, a stepmom, and a mom. I know more challenges are ahead, but I believe God has blessed me with this amazing life and family.

If you or you know of someone who is struggling with the whole stepmom scene, then drop me a line. I would love to keep in touch. Please like this post and share it. Thank you!