My friend Ashlee Kasten wrote an amazing and insightful book called "Lessons I Found in the Laundry Basket," how to lose the dirt and find joy and purpose in Motherhood. https://www.amazon.com/Lessons-Found-Laundry-Basket-motherhood/dp/1545679657
There are many things in this book I can relate to as a mother and even as a stepmom. It got me thinking about my actual laundry basket and how I've handled my laundry.
Have you had missing socks or washed something of your stepkids that you knew wasn't from your house? As a mom, we already do so much cleaning and managing the house. Who has time to wash someone else's laundry? I take the time to shop and purchase clothes, especially for all of our kids, not so they end up at their biological mom's house. She has her own set of clothes for the kids at her home. This use to make me mad, and it still frustrates me!
Rejoice always, pray continually, give
thanks in all circumstances; for this is
God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
I'm learning to change my perspective and rejoice in the fact; I have someone to do laundry for. I will be the first to admit, laundry is not my favorite chore along with dusting, but I'm choosing to be grateful I have a family to clean for. The bible tells us in 1 Peter 4:10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace.
Do you recall the story of Martha and Mary when Jesus came to their house? Mary chose to stop and sit at the feet of Jesus and listen to his teaching. Martha, on the other hand, decided to cook and got so upset with her sister, Mary, for sitting. Martha was allowing strife into her home and started complaining to Jesus.
But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."
Luke 38: 41-42
It can be hard not to complain about the role of being a wife, a mom to my son, and then to add two additional children on top of it. It is exhausting spiritually, emotionally, and physically! However, I have embraced some things I find that help me to have victory and represent Jesus at the same time. First, I have to have open and honest communication with my husband about how I feel concerning our relationship and our children. When communication involves one of my step kids, it can be hard, because the kids have a mom that doesn't live in our house or live by the same rules that we do. Yet, we expect them to always live by our rules, which isn't always realistic. I can't imagine being a kid living in two homes with two sets of rules. I think these kids are amazing and I am so proud of what they are living through.
Next, I have to have time for myself each day, even if it is a 20-minute walk each day, a trip to the store, or time spent in my garden.
Lastly, and most important of all is spend time in the Word of God each day and talk to my heavenly Father. He cares for me and promises to refresh me when I am entirely out of Mom-Power.
Even though it is essential to have your house in order, I do not want to be like Martha. I want to be more like her sister, Mary, who knew when to take time to sit at the feet of Jesus, her most important relationship. Also, I want to know when it is time to stop and spend time with my family.
As stepmoms, we have to build loving and healthy relationships with our stepkids. If we are always chasing after them to clean and pick up after themselves while not taking the time to ask them how their day is going, then we will never earn their respect.
I'm making a declaration today, not always to be concerned with the missing socks and whose clothes I am washing! Instead, I will be thankful that I have been given the responsibility to serve God's children in my home.
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