What makes your husband happy? I use to think if I made him a gourmet meal or all the laundry was clean and neatly put away. The kids were happy and playing quietly, or if the house were spotless, he would be over the moon with thoughts of having the best wife ever!
But there were days he would come home from work, and nothing seemed to make him happy. I wasn't sure what the problem was because I felt I was doing everything right. This would cause arguments because I was feeling inadequate and not feeling appreciated. After all, I thought I was being the best wife with everything I was doing was for him! In return, He would buy books on marriage for us to read, to help us understand how we should act as a married couple.
When reading these marriage books, we would come to a part about being a godly wife, and all I would do is get mad and put on the defense. At this point, I was not listening to anything the book taught, let alone anything he would say. He was not getting respect from his wife in the way he needed it.
This went on for a few years, but then something changed. I was tired of arguing and going around the same circle. I laid my boxing gloves down and let God start working into making me into the wife he has designed me to be.
I started listening to my husband, and we were able to communicate with one another. I realized in my attempt to being the best wife I could be, was more about me than him.
I was to busy doing the laundry to greet him at the door. I was to busy cooking dinner to sit, hold his hand, or watch a movie with him. I was to busy chasing the kids around to pick up their room or keep their bathroom clean. At the end of the day of making him not so happy, I was too tired for any quality time.
Be Kind and compassionate to one another, Forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
What Makes A Happy Husband…
1. Respect – men have a great need to be respected. (Ladies, your tone can make all the difference.) I've learned it is ok to be upset, but how I respond is vital to the outcome.
· Respect acknowledges the husband's leadership role in the marriage.
· Respect by the wife expresses her trust in her husband.
2. Honor – Speak words of affirmation to him. Praise his successes and encourage him when he fails.
· Encourage your husband at home and out in public.
· Submit to your husband as he is the head of the home.
God tells us in his word that the man is the head of the wife. I know this may be hard for some to hear, but with God, there is order. To submit doesn't mean you are weak, lesser, or allowing yourself to be abused. It is showing honor to God.
But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ,
the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
1 Corinthians 11:3
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself,
and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ephesians 5:33
A few books I recommend are "For Married Woman Only" by Tony Evans, "The Story Of marriage" by John & Lisa Bevere, "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, and "31 Days to a Happy Husband" by Arlene Pellicane.
Has you are discovering, marriage is not for the faint of heart. The saying is true, "Anything in life worth having is worth working for!"
I challenge you to pick one of the books I mentioned from above and read it yourself and see if your husband would be willing to join in, The 5 Love languages book with you.
Anything In Life Worth Having
Is Worth Working For
Andrew Carnegie
What's the biggest thing you're struggling with right now that I can help you with?
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